One of Life's Biggest Problems

Today I write about a problem plaguing our churches. Sometimes I think it is a scourge set free on the world by the technology industry. At other times, I feel it is the bane of every church's existence. To what am I referring? Cell phones! Yes, cell phones. Have you been there? Right in the middle of the worship service and boom! You hear the James Bond theme or the Alabama/ Auburn fight song or some other equivalent. It happened just last night in our church while I was trying to pray. I think I know who the evil culprit is (in case you haven't figured it out by now, this is all tongue-in-cheek so whoever you are who owned the phone that went off last night don't think I am out to get you). Please understand that I am very sympathetic. It's happened to me before, and if it hasn't happened to you, it is because: a) you haven't joined the 21st century and purchased a cell phone; b)you have a cell phone but like so many others you won't turn it on; c)you are smarter than the majority of the population and turn it off when you enter the church; or d)you just haven't owned the phone long enough or you don't go to church often enough. Here is my point: given time, it will happen to you. I think that if Murphy was still writing his laws, that would be one of them. So, recently I have come up with what I think are the most innovative solutions for when it happens to you.

• Stare straight ahead and pretend that you don't hear it
• Turn to your neighbor with a horrified look on your face as if it is their phone
• Do like one lady (Tina Burton) I heard about who kicked her purse under someone else's seat
• Dig frantically for the phone and when you find it, answer it in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, and say, "Why, yes, I would be glad to share with you the plan of salvation."

Please know that all of these are not original with me, so thanks Sonya, Wayne, Peggy, Jill, Laura Ashley, Jeff, and Peggy.