Family! How I wish Paul had moved this to the top of his
list because I believe that this should be the number one qualification for a
pastor, and I believe pastors should understand that the family should be their
number one priority. I’ve seen way too many ministers miss this important
aspect of their ministry, and when they do, they typically lose both their
ministries and their families. Read this carefully: God instituted the family
long before He created the church. I believe that as a pastor my calling is to
put God first, family second, and the church third in my life. If your church
doesn’t understand that, then shame on you! I have seen way too many churches
and pastors suffer because they get their priorities messed up.
I will never forget our seminary days. They were tough.
Sonya worked full-time and took care of the children. I worked a minimum of 32
hours every week, took a full class load, and helped take care of the children.
Not a day went by that I didn’t set aside time to play with Jennifer and
Ashley. I have notebooks filled with pages of Greek and Hebrew homework where
one of the girls, while sitting in my lap while I was doing the work, tried to
draw the same Greek and Hebrew characters they saw on my paper. Please don’t
think I’m bragging. I messed up a lot over the years and still cringe when I
think about those mistakes. But I’ve always made my family the second highest
priority in my life, and I am proud of that.
Paul said that a pastor must rule his house well and that
his children must be in submission. Uh, listen up all you dads out there who
are not pastors – he says the same thing about you in his letters to the
Ephesians and the Colossians. But here is the key. Paul viewed leadership of
the family as a proving ground for leadership in the church, and that goes for
more than just pastors. Literally, Paul is telling us that pastors must make
sure that everything in their homes runs smoothly. Specifically, his young children
must be known for their obedience and morally upright behavior. I also believe
that when you train up a child in the way he should go, when he is grown he
will continue in that same lifestyle. I seem to remember a wise man saying that
a long time ago, and I believe it to be true. However, Paul is talking about
children living in your home. Adult children make their own choices, and while
an argument could be made that if they have gone off into a lifestyle of
immorality as adults that something must have been wrong with their upbringing,
this was not Paul’s purpose in this admonition. While they are living in the
pastor’s home, the pastor’s children must demonstrate the qualities of godly
behavior. That doesn’t mean they won’t do the things that all children do, but
they should model the behavior they see from their parents.
I do want to point out two things. The word “submission” is
a military term referring to soldiers ranked under one in authority. The pastor
must take that authority to heart as a father, but he must also temper that
authority with the agape love of God. Why? Because the goal isn’t to raise an
army that fears you; the goal is to raise a family that knows Jesus. The pastor
must demonstrate through his home that he is spiritually gifted in ways that
allow him to set the example of how to live and serve and love. If he does
this, so, too, will his family. If he doesn’t do this, why would anyone want to
follow him in the church?
The second thing I want you to see is that I think Paul
wanted pastors to know that they are to relate to their church members not as a
master relates to servants but as fathers to their children. Think about that
for just a minute or two!
No comments:
Post a Comment